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Thank you for your interest in my work—I hope you find this information helpful.

Tina Tessina
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Happiness Tips From Tina: A new tip is added every month. For an archive of practical how-to’s for making your life happier and healthier, please click here.

Individual and Couple Therapy
In my psychotherapy practice as a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I welcome the opportunity to use my skills to help enhance your existing lifestyle, and to teach you the process for getting the very best out of your life. For more about counseling opportunities please click here.

Bestselling Self- Help Books
As the author of eleven books, published in many languages, my goal is to give you the information you need to create the life you want. To read about or order my books, please click here.

Extraordinary Lectures and Workshops.
Online CE credits for professionals! Through lectures and workshops, I can bring my expertise to your group or business, helping people to get motivated and organized, make better decisions, and make their relationships run smoothly, at work, and in their personal lives. For more about my lectures, workshops and online classes, please click here.




  Money, Sex and Kids  **See Video**
Adams Press  •  January 2008
ISBN-10: 1598693255  •  ISBN-13: 978-1598693256

With a Ph.D., eight books, and 30 years of counseling experience, under her belt, [Redbook Love Expert] Tina [Tessina] has a lot to say about the everydays of life and love.”—Redbook.ivillage.com

In this book, you'll learn to view your relationship as a partnership, rather than a challenge or a competition, and you'll discover new ways to think about sharing and working together to make all your decisions about money, sex, and kids mutual ones. With a little information and practice, you can become a successful, happy couple. The point of this Money, Sex and Kids is to show you how to create a partnership in which you'll feel blessed and happy. Here you'll learn to understand why you and your partner argue and the remaining skills you need to enhance your relationship and transform your struggles into working together to create a smoothly working partnership.

With this book, you'll be able to resolve your issues about money, sex, and kids, and move on to having a workable, satisfying relationship, with minimal or no arguing or fighting.

• What readers are saying about Money, Sex and Kids
Online Promo Page for Money, Sex and Kids (820KB PDF)
• Now available in Chinese. Click here to see cover image
 
  The Commuter Marriage **See Video**
Adams Media
ISBN-10: 1598694324  •  ISBN-13: 978-1598694321

Finally, much needed relationship help for geographically challenged couples! THE COMMUTER MARRIAGE: Keep Your Relationship Close While You’re Far Apart (Adams Media; May13, 2008; Trade Paperback Original) by respected Ph.D., Tina Tessina speaks directly to the more than 4 million U.S. couples juggling the unique struggles only long-distance marriages face.

As society becomes more mobile and as jobs move or involve travel more than ever, couples must create ways to stay connected while physically separated— for days, weeks, months, or years. Even working different shifts or managing long commutes may mean couples living in the same house never see each other during waking hours. Keeping a connection—both physically and mentally—is no easy feat.

According to Dr. Tessina, “Spending time apart is both a blessing and a problem. When you have time apart, it can freshen your relationship and remind you what you love most about your partner. On the other hand, if you begin to resent the separation, and don’t communicate well while you’re apart, your marriage has the potential to quickly unravel.”

With a specific program designed to help couples maneuver this terrain, Dr. Tessina helps readers through everyday situations, such as:
     • Managing two homes, financially and physically
     • Raising kids when one parent is distant
     • Holiday and visiting schedules
     • Overcoming jealousy and suspicions
     • Maintaining a healthy sex life
     • Reintegrating when two homes become one again

With quizzes, exercises, and studies from Dr. Tessina’s practice, readers will see what works—and what doesn’t. So whether the decision to commute is voluntary or mandatory, couples can not only keep their marriages intact but make their unions stronger.

• What the experts are saying about The Commuter Marriage
 
  It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction
New Page Books, A Division of Career Press  •  February, 2003
ISBN 1564146499 .

“I recently came across the Dr. Romance Blog page "Getting Out of your Way," which lead me to It Ends With You: Growing up and out of Dysfunction. Your materials come at a time of rapid and active recovery for me, out of trauma and later post trauma, and they feel like the voice that says, ‘It's okay. Not only are you okay but here's why.’ And bless your heart, your writing is accessible and friendly. A heart-felt thank you. You're writing is helping me get through my final laps on what has been an incredibly adverse journey.” — a reader

“I am half way through It Ends with You and I love it! It's the first book I have read, and I have read many, that pinpoints mannerisms and behaviors that reflect our childhoods and gives specific feedback on how it could effect us as adults. It has really caused me to think about my own behaviors and where they have originated. Having a father who is manic_depressive, I get scared easily by certain behaviors that I possess that I learned from him...I hope that your book will prevent these behaviors from developing into my own and for me not to seek out boyfriends that reflect my father's erratic moods. I am eager to not only finish this book, but look into some of your other books as well.” — Amanda, a reader

Many parents have few tools to teach their children and little knowledge of how to provide a good example. As a result, family dysfunction often runs through succeeding generations like a snowball rolling down a hill, gathering speed and power as it goes. Growing up, and learning to be responsible for yourself, is like standing at the bottom of that hill and not letting the dysfunction be passed on any further. It Ends With You.

In 25 years of counseling people in recovery, licensed psychotherapist Tina Tessina has worked with many clients struggling with similar problems-anxiety, depression, feeling out of control, relationship disasters, and a pervasive feeling that they don't know what “normal” is. No matter how old they are, they don't feel like they've really grown up. They never learned the confidence, self-motivation, and emotional management tools they need to live healthy, happy lives, because their families didn't provide good role models, structure, and information.

The exercises and guidelines in It Ends With You will help you finally understand what a functional family is, how its members are still affected by early experience, and how to develop the skills necessary for successful living and loving.

In her new book, The Groom's Guide (Citadel, 2004) Sharon Naylor says “The best [self help book] I've seen out there is It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction by Dr. Tina Tessina, Ph.D. (New Page Books, February 2003). Work through this book and you’ll undoubtedly clear away at least some of the old baggage you didn't even know you have. You’ll step out of your old habits, take a good look at them in the light, and see if you’re willing to bring unhealthy dealing skills into your new marriage. This book gives you new choices, worksheets, and solutions for a fresh start in your new life, not a repeat of your old one.“
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The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again
Wiley, 2002  •  ISBN 0028624548

If it’s been a long time since you've surveyed the dating scene, the rules have changed. How do you get started? Where do you go to meet new people? What are the unwritten rules? What if you’re a single or divorced parent? And what about.......sex? Here's how to meet, greet and compete in today's dating world, complete with strategies for success and safety. The inside scoop for making dating fun and worthwhile—on the Internet, in everyday life, and specifically tailored to your age, situation and personal preferences.

TABLE OF CONTENTS
I  What Brings Your Here?
      1 Dating Again: Exciting—and Terrifying!
      2 The Problems, and How to Overcome Them
II  Developing Your Dating Skills
      3 Preparation
      4 Let’s Get Out There and Have Fun!
      5 Defining the Dating Players
III  Where to Go
      6 Squirrel Hunting
      7 Making the Most of Your Dating Venue
IV  The Dating Process
      8 Getting Connected
      9 Oh My Gosh! It’s a Date!
    10 Becoming Intimate
    11 If It Goes on from Here
    12 Officially Dating
V  Dating’s Dilemmas
    13 And Baby Makes Three
    14 The Potential Downside of Dating
A  Resources
B  Recommended Reading List

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  How To Be A Couple and Still Be Free
New Page Books, A Division of Career Press •  ISBN 1564145492
(Revised and expanded 3rd Edition) March, 2002

“Being a couple yet free is our next challenge on the evolutionary ladder. This book successfully helps us unravel the myths that block that achievement. It does it with warmth, with readability, and with balance. It recreates everyday problems and paints the path to their solution”—Warren Farrell, Ph.D. Author of “Why Men Are the Way They Are”

For two decades, the established handbook on relationships between equals.

Time tested by:

COMMITTED COUPLES who've decided to hang in and “work it out”
DIVORCED PEOPLE who want to do it better this time.
GAY COUPLES who seek a model for being a couple
YOUNG PEOPLE whose parents showed them how not to be a couple
SINGLE PEOPLE seeking loving intimacy as equals.

“If experiencing love is a problem in your relationship, here are some
suggestions to help love flow freely between you and your mate.”—New
Woman magazine


TABLE OF CONTENTS
Introduction: Why Be a Couple and Free?
Chapter One: How to Be a Couple and Still Be Free
Chapter Two: Define and Communicate the Problem
Chapter Three: Agree to Negotiate
Chapter Four: Set the Stage
Chapter Five: State and Explore Wants
Chapter Six: Explore Your Options and Decide

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The 10 Smartest Decisions a Woman Can Make Before 40
HCI, Deerfield Beach, 1998  •  ISBN 1558746145

“One of the best books for women that I have read. It takes desires and dreams and shows you a step-by-step practical way to achieve them. For any woman who wants to do more than talk about changing her life, a road map to her goal.”—Sonya Friedman, PhD, , “Sonya Live” 

This no-nonsense guide  shows women how to create the futures they want for themselves by making some fundamental choices.

TABLE OF CONTENTS
Introduction: Why Women? What Decisions?
  1 The Power of a Good Decision: Decide to Make Intelligent Choices
  2 Don’t Let Your Past Hold You Back: Decide to Resolve Old Issues
  3 Where Are You Going? Decide to Set Realistic Goals
  4 Who Loves Ya, Baby? Decide to Make the Most of Who You Are
  5 Go for the Goals: Decide to Get the Education and Training You Need
  6 Make the Connection: Decide to Be an Effective Communicator
  7 Be Young in Mind: Decide to Keep Learning
  8 It Takes a Village: Decide to Build Personal and Professional Networks
  9 Never Too Rich: Decide to Create Financial Security
10 Are We Having Fun Yet? Decide to Balance Work and Play
Conclusion
Appendix: Resources for Further Exploration
References
About the Authors

Published in 15 languages—click here to view several foreign covers

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  The Real Thirteenth Step: Discovering Confidence, Self-Reliance, and Independence Beyond the 12-Step Programs
New Page Books, August, 2001   •   ISBN: 1564145484

The Real Thirteenth Step is a powerful exercise and information-packed manual to accompany the journey of people in recovery. Readers will learn how to develop the three central skills of true autonomy—risk taking, problem solving, and coping with failure—and how to apply them to every aspect of their lives: relationships, work, decision-making, stress, and the temptations of addiction.

Discover the six steps necessary to create real inner change: techniques so powerful, they‘re called “magical tools.” These tools are taught through exercises proven in therapy and workshops to help clients gain control of their lives and remain free of relapse. With the exercises and guidelines in this book, readers can learn what they need to complete their recovery and achieve self-confidence and autonomy. Dr. Tessina invites you to move beyond recovery to a satisfying life of joy and healthy relationships.

TABLE OF CONTENTS
Preface
Part I Recovery —Stepping Up From Addiction
Chapter 1. Autonomy: the Real 13th Step
Chapter 2. Addicted to Recovery
Part II Completing Recovery
Chapter 3. Beyond Recovery: from Dependency to Autonomy
Chapter 4. Deep Recovery: Learning How to Change
Chapter 5. Completing Recovery: Facing the Self
Part III Achieving Autonomy
Chapter 6. Autonomous Thinking: Learning about Choice
Chapter 7. Autonomous Loving: Creating Healthy Relationships
Chapter 8. Autonomous Living: the Promise and the Challenge
Bibliography


Read what people are saying about this book!
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Gay Relationships: How To Find Them, How To Improve Them, How To Make Them Last  
Tarcher, 2003  •  ISBN 0874775663

The first, and still the best, major book on Gay and Lesbian relationships —it takes you step-by-step through your relationship, making it better, making a commitment, and sharing a long life together. Reassuring and supportive.

TABLE OF CONTENTS
1 Gay Relationships: What Are They?
2 How (and Where) to Find Relationships
3 From Dating to Commitment
4 Dynamics of Gay Relationships
5 Gay Relationships and Sexuality
6 Living Together
7 Commitment Ceremonies, Marriage, and Legal Issues
8 Coming Out, In-Laws, and Support Systems
9 Happily Ever After
Appendix A: Resources for Support and Legal Advice
Appendix B: Safe-Sex Information
Appendix C: Advice for Dealing with Homophobia

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The Ten Smartest Decisions a Woman Can Make After Forty
Renaissance, March 2001   •   ISBN 1580631819

The longtime psychotherapist and bestselling author of The 10 Smartest Decisions a Woman Can Make Before 40 now turns her attention to the special challenges and opportunities available to women over forty. In mid-life, many women find themselves in new circumstances. Women with grown children discover more free time or consider returning to school, or a new career. Movers and shakers may want to consider the possibility of setting up their own businesses. Women of all sorts will find themselves thrust into the role of caretakers to their parents and grandparents.This practical and effective book helps them map their options and outline their strategies for taking complete control of their lives.

TABLE OF CONTENTS
Introduction: Maturity: the Freedom to Decide
Chapter 1: Decide to Re-decide Make Your Life Your Own
Chapter 2: Change Your Life Roles
Chapter 3: Revitalize Your Career, or Try a New One
Chapter 4: Focus on Friendship
Chapter 5: Decide to Stay Healthy
Chapter 6: Secure Your Financial Position
Chapter 7: Never Too Late: Decide to Be the Person You Might Have Been
Chapter 8: Decide to Use What You Know to Have More Fun
Chapter 9: Decide to Create Joy and Meaning in Your Life
Chapter 10: Give Something Back
Conclusion
Bibliography
Appendix: Resources for Further Exploration


Read what readers are saying about The Ten Smartest Decisions a Woman Can Make After Forty

Published in 7 languages—click here to view several foreign covers